26 December 2011

I like theater, I just don't fancy drama

Play this while reading:

 Now that I got your attention, I want you to know I'm not forgetting all the drama I've grown here in the last years. This blog is built on it, I'm definitely not denying that. But people do grow and do change and they do get to see better. Sometimes it's other people making it happen or causing it, but in the end it's you adding the final touch. So when that happens, it's hard to draw a line and decide to step back even a bit. It's hard to watch drama develop and not want to stop it, no matter where it comes from. Just because you've been there and you're half-way through. Just because you know you're still trying to find a complete way out of this overreacted manner of perceiving actions and people. But you understood how things get much more easier when you stop over-analyzing. When you understand that trying to read into other's people minds is equally impossible and unhealthy.

And you can spot people who really fancy drama. But you cannot blame them because you've been one of them. You tasted every bit of self-created emptiness and negative view of everything that existed. When, in reality, there was and there is SO MUCH MORE. Today I can only blame a medium which sometimes makes you angry, like when you have to deal with a mean person or someone stubborn enough to make you believe society and all odds are against you. But rarely do we acknowledge or want to see that usually we are our own enemies and reasons to hate whatever's there.

So drama classes? No, thanks, I've passed my exams. It's my choice, for many months now, to just live in a different manner. I guess I've always stuck with my decisions and I've always been proud for taking them. But only this spring I understood that sometimes you have to take risks and to take decisions which sometimes are not in your comfort area. But everything for your well being. Along with trusting your instincts and not forgetting who you are, that should work just fine. It worked out for me. It brought me what I always wanted. Inside happiness. One that I lost probably in my childhood. Of course I've been happier after. But there are things missing inside of you and you can't define them. I'm myself again and I'm walking on a different path. I wish I'd get more moments like that which changed my life like this but I think that help was good enough and that the rest is all up to me.

It's funny when I think that just hearing someone saying some words made all this happen. It could've been a street sign or anything. Or a sky clearing up after a storm. But it was a sentence and it made me understand how we sometimes prefer to lie to ourselves. There would be so much more to say about this. But that would be over-analyzing and that's just not good anymore.

And remember, I'm not preaching, I'm confessing.


  1. Gândurile tale dau stare de bine,de fericire şi de linişte.

  2. Multumesc. Si semnele din partea voastra imi dau o astfel de stare.


With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

îmi ţin fericirea în buzunare, în zeci de buzunare cusute pe dos.

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