sometimes we only need a quiet nite to understand that's all we actually need. quiet. peace. relief. understanding of the self. I managed not to become sad, I just sat there and enjoyed the beautiful view and the blurry morning which was making way through something which could've looked like a deserted Bucharest. it was nevertheless a matter of minutes until the city would've come back to life. and so were we. sleepy, tired, dreamy. it was hard to keep our eyes open while waiting for the sun. but the sun showed up somewhere behind the clouds. it didn't matter, we knew it was there. because clouds or no clouds, sun will always rise. I couldn't help noticing lately that in songs people say the most painful things and the most sincere. things we never actually say in real life. we'd think they sound cheesy, that the beloved one might think they're too much. I suppose the most beautiful songs were born out of the greatest sufferance.
I tried to breath in the early morning, the huge beautiful windows that I desire for my own place, some place else. and last night I also got the feeling that past is always coming back in the weirdest way. same people, same feelings, same mistakes. we never learn, we cannot afford it.
poze: verde ursuz, last night/this morning
verde ursuz, într-adevăr, nu învăţăm niciodată să ne ferim cu adevărat de trecut. şi pentru mine noaptea trecută s-a cusut din oameni din alte timpuri, aceiaşi, deşi un pic altfel.
ReplyDelete:) pentru că nu vrem să ne aruncăm cu capul în necunoscut, deşi avem impresia că asta facem. iar uneori, când chiar încercăm, e suficient să dăm o dată greş ca să ne retragem în vizuina noastră, cea a trecutului, unde ne vom simţi întotdeauna mai în siguranţă şi unde orice nou început înseamnă de fapt o retrăire.
ReplyDeleteI guess I always miss looking at the sun coming up, through a big window, strange to me, but close to the person that was close to my heart. even if I was a few blocks away from home, I was in other space, in a sort of blury dreamland that ended when the city started to move, again, another day. but I enjoyed every 21 sleepless nights, coming home at 6-7 am, hide under my sheets and fall asleep so peacefully. it's almost a year since then.
ReplyDeleteI hope, someday, that feeling will come again. and never leave.
I know it will. and it will not be the same because the moment will be different or maybe the person will be different. but it will be beautiful.
ReplyDeletetrue!
ReplyDelete